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Maine. Vacationland.

Maine. Vacationland.

“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”
-Stephen King
Stephen King

Fanta selfie in Maine

It is highly ironic that such a beautiful place produced one of the craziest authors of all time, Stephen King. Why wouldn’t he write about the beauty of his hometown of Maine and what a wonderful place it is to take a vacation? Maybe he didn’t want to be bothered by all the tourists.

After driving in to New Hampshire, I took a quick dash over to Maine. And when I say quick, I mean quick. 4.6 miles. 10 minutes.

NH to ME
Regal Cinema in New Hampshire (where I saw Batman: The Killing Joke) to The Kittery Outlets in Maine. 4.6 miles.

Since I did not spend much time in Maine, I wanted to share three of my favorite book-to-movie Stephen King adaptations.

The LangoliersThe Langoliers:

Most of the passengers on an airplane disappear, and the remainder land the plane in a mysteriously barren airport.

The first time I saw this movie on television, it freaked me out. I was glued to my couch from beginning to finish. One of my favorite actors is in this movie, Dean Stockwell. He was the sleazy “manager” guy from the gun range in the Beverly Hills Cop movie with Eddie Murphy.


Thinner:Stephen King's Thinner

Billy Halleck (Robert John Burke) is an obese lawyer who is cursed by a gypsy to lose weight…and lose weight…and lose weight…

Thinner is so worth the watch. It’s creepy at its best and just makes you wonder what would happen if you were in this guy’s position.

My favorite part about this movie is when he hits the gypsy. He was getting some head while driving and not paying attention and then all of a sudden, BAM! Hahaha. What a way to make a mistake. Stephen King is a genius.

Make sure you check out Thinner if you can.

 

Shawshank

Shawshank Redemption:

Two imprisoned men (Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman) bond over a number of years, finding solace and eventual redemption through acts of common decency.
New Hampshire The Beautiful

New Hampshire The Beautiful

“I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t ultimately start judging you and your choices. Men like to squash you. I just want someone who’s happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn’t have to squash mine.”
-Sarah Silverman
Sarah Silverman

New Hampshire is very green and very beautiful. If you ever have time for a nice little vacation and want some serious peace and quiet, come here (in addition to Maine and Vermont).

Side note: I’ve seen more Volvos in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine than any other states I’ve visited. What’s up with that?

Driving from New Hampshire to Vermont was 100% eye candy. I can’t stress that enough. It feels a little bit like driving through Tennessee and Arkansas but even better. New Hampshire and VermontThe trees. Vegetation. Summer breeze. Sunny skies.

The funny thing is, if you look at both states next to each other, it looks like a rectangle split diagonally down the middle. Maybe they were related a long time ago and got into a really bad argument.

Mark Hamill - The JokerThe drive up from Massachusetts to New Hampshire was also beautiful until about 30 minutes before arriving to my hotel. All of sudden, a huge storm of rain fell from the sky and visibility was close to nothing. I made it to my hotel ok and you would think I stayed there, right? Nope.

I had a ticket to go see “Batman: The Killing Joke“ so there I was, back in the storm, driving 17 minutes to see Mark Hamill as the voice of the Joker. He slayed as The Joker and Kevin Conroy was great as the voice of Batman. I love animated features.

The plot behind The Killing Joke animated feature: As Batman hunts for the escaped Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime (Joker) attacks the Gordon family to prove a diabolical point mirroring his own fall into madness.

I enjoyed the movie very much. I didn’t think it was spectacular but everyone did a good job. The sub plot between Batgirl and a misogynistic mobster was great. So was the “romantic” relationship between Batman and Batgirl. I think that I’ve been so used to seeing Batman and Joker go at it, it was nice to see some different plot lines for a change. I hope they keep adding interesting non-Batman/Joker sub plots when they make animated features in the future.

Crazy night. Crazy storm. Crazy movie. Crazy villain.

The perfect way to retire for the night before traveling to Vermont the next day, right?

Massachusetts Drive-Thru

Massachusetts Drive-Thru

“It’s just better to be yourself than to try to be some version of what you think the other person wants.”
-Matt Damon
Matt Damon

Selfie in Massachusetts
Selfie at the Massachusetts Welcome Center.

My initial plan was to visit Boston and M.I.T. once I arrived in Massachusetts. But that didn’t happen. Instead, I circumvented downtown since I did not have as much time and headed to New Hampshire. I had booked a movie time in New Hampshire to see “Batman: The Killing Joke” in the theater. There’s no way I was going to miss that. This animated feature was only in the theater for 1 or 2 days. Limited showings.

https://youtu.be/SnTSqgJPVl8

Look how I sneakily circumvented downtown.

Map of Massachusetts

I’ll leave you with another quote from one of my favorite actor/directors who was born in Massachusetts.

Life, like poker has an element of risk. It shouldn’t be avoided. It should be faced.
-Edward Norton
Edward Norton

Providence, Rhode Island

Providence, Rhode Island

“A year or so ago I went through all the people in my life and asked myself: does this person inspire me, genuinely love me and support me unconditionally? I wanted nothing but positive influences in my life.”
-Mena Suvari

The drive into Rhode Island was pretty boring and quiet. It was in the middle of the day on a Monday and downtown was beautiful with old-school style buildings.

Providence, Rhode Island reminded me of Boise, Idaho but with 9 more black people. I think I saw 2 when I was in Idaho, not counting my reflection.

Goodnight.

Rhode Island State House
Chilling in front of the Rhode Island State House. Beautiful building.

 

Rhode Island State House
Downtown at the mall. It was as boring and empty as you are picturing it.
New Haven, Connecticut

New Haven, Connecticut

(on why she hasn’t been working recently) “I’ve been famous since I was a teenager. There are a lot of empty spaces in that. I just feel like I’ve been filling in the cracks a little bit. I feel very fortunate, very free.”
-Meg Ryan
Meg Ryan

Yale University is an American private Ivy League research university in New Haven, Connecticut. Founded in 1701 in Saybrook Colony as the Collegiate School, the University is the third-oldest institution of higher education in the United States. The school was renamed Yale College in 1718 in recognition of a gift from Elihu Yale, who was governor of the British East India Company. Established to train Congregationalist ministers in theology and sacred languages, by 1777 the school’s curriculum began to incorporate humanities and sciences. In the 19th century the school incorporated graduate and professional instruction, awarding the first Ph.D. in the United States in 1861 and organizing as a university in 1887.
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yale_University)

Whoah. With this kind of history, I could not drive through Connecticut without visiting one of the finest institutions of higher learning in the US. Yale University. Wow. Although it was summer session and the campus was mostly empty, it was a beautiful place to visit. The buildings definitely had an old-school feel to them and are not very contemporary, which makes the place that much better in my opinion.

I had some fun on the campus, shot a video for my Instagram account, took some pics, ate some thai food and bought a souvenir t-shirt. Good times.

FUN VIDEO:

 

YALE PHOTO GALLERY:

Lady Liberty, New York

Lady Liberty, New York

“I’m very proud to be black, but black is not all I am. That’s my cultural historical background, my genetic makeup, but it’s not all of who I am nor is it the basis from which I answer every question.”
-Denzel Washington
Denzel

I first moved to New York in 1986. After growing up in the Caribbean, it was the first major city I ever visited. And I remember her very well. She was big, busy, beautiful and smelled like piss. Not sure who came up with “The Big Apple”. The apples I ate never smelled like piss.

I still don’t know why but my parents never took us to any major New York attractions. My best guess is because my dad hates “crowds” and “spectacles”. Unlike me, the entertainer in the family, who doesn’t mind them at allThe Bull in New York. My dad also hates going to the movies. The closest we ever got to a crowded activity was attending a Yankee game in the Bronx.

Class trips during my two years in New York consisted of visiting apple orchards in upstate New York. Maybe that’s why I’m not that into apples. I ate my fair share when I was 11 and 12 years old.

Two years living in New York and many years of visits but still, never saw the Empire State Building, World Trade Center or the Statue of Liberty up close.

Being an immigrant, I was always fascinated by the Statue of Liberty: the gateway to the new world. I finally purchased my tickets, asked my friend to go with me and had a wonderful time hanging with Lady Liberty.

It’s a crazy process to get to her. The ferry that sails over to her left from Battery Park. I stayed at a Holiday Inn in the financial district, which was an easy 15 minute walk to the ferry dock. It’s no joke once you get to the dock. If you ever go, be prepared for really long lines with airport-like security. There was even a sign that said there would be “airport-like security”. Hey, at least they warned us.

It was hot too. Really hot! Mid 90s. The kind of heat that makes you wear big ass hats and not think about your outward appearance.

After security, you stand on a dock and board one of the ferries that takes you to Lady Liberty. Once that thing leaves, it’s a great ride and your 360-degree view is The Big Pissy Apple. It was great.

Ferry view of New York

Once on the island, my friend and I grabbed a device that provided an “audio tour” but it was useless. Audio Tour goofy face under Lady LibertyWe learned nothing, there were no headphones and you were better off googling what you wanted to know or reading information posted around the island. You literally had to hold this thing up to your ear.

Quite honestly, Lady Liberty was beautiful and majestic but if not for her history, I actually thought it was a waste. Yeah, I know, imagine… for a long time I wanted to see something marvelous and when I finally did, the climax was mediocre.

People watching was more interesting. I wanted someone to drop their iPhone in the river so bad. It never happened but hey a guy can dream.

On the way back, the ferry did a mandatory stop at Ellis Island, which I had no interest in. Eventually, passengers filled the boat and we went back to Battery Park.

So yeah. The Statue of Liberty was anti-climactic but the day was beautiful, the views were great, the sweet sausage hot dog I ate on the ferry was delicious and I had a great time hanging with my buddy Marylou. Have a nice day.

Marylou and I on our way to Lady Liberty

Alice in Chains. Yes, please.

Alice in Chains. Yes, please.

“There are times you can’t really see or even feel how sweet life can be. Hopefully its mountains will be higher than its valleys are deep. I know things that are broken can be fixed. Take the punch if you have to, hit the canvas and then get up again. Life is worth it.”
-Queen Latifah (Dana Owens)
Dana Owens

Atlantic City, New Jersey was surprisingly fun. I always make jokes about Atlantic City being the fake Las Vegas but I had a helluva time.

Alice in ChainsThat probably had something to do with my buddy, Dean Delray. Dean was in town performing with the rock band, Alice in Chains, doing 20 minutes of comedy before the start of their rock concert at The Trump Taj Majal. How freaking cool!

It’s an epic opportunity for him to be touring with them this summer. And a wonderful coincidence that New Jersey was the next state on my ultimate road trip checklist.

Can you believe it? First off, I got to hang with my buddy, Dean. Again. I saw him a few weeks ago in Denver and we did comedy together at Comedy Works. Secondly, I met Alice in Chains, a great rock group and even better group of people (they love golf as much as I do). And finally, I knocked another item off the bucket list by seeing them perform, which was my first time seeing a rock concert LIVE. It’s hard to believe that but it’s true. From beginning to end.

As if that wasn’t epic enough, I hung out backstage with everyone, ate some great food and stayed at the Trump Taj Mahal for the night in a killer suite. Thanks again Dean. You rock dude.

Dean and myself in Atlantic City

Check out the view.

Delaware. Endless Discoveries.

Delaware. Endless Discoveries.

[on acting]
“The darker, more complex and emotional the part is, the easier it is for me. But I don’t take any of that stuff home with me at the end of the day.”
-Elisabeth Shue
elizabeth shue

Selfie at Univ of Delaware

I did not stay long in Delaware so there’s not much to talk about. It’s a beautiful state and you don’t have to pay sales taxes on most retail items. Growing up, I always thought that was a joke but it wasn’t. And THAT aspect of Delaware, I do like very much.

Besides that, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything else going on in Delaware. Oh wait … it’s a good place to set up a business but yeah, that’s it. If there’s more, let me know. No one ever RAVES about Delaware. It’s just kind of — there — in the wind. No one ever goes, “Dude, you gotta go to Delaware and check out ____!”, like they would about Las Vegas, New York or New Orleans.

With that being said, here’s an interesting list I’ve compiled throughout my trip that I think is fun.

Hope you enjoy it.

SO FAR MY…

Favorite States:

  • Colorado
  • Texas
  • Louisiana
  • North Carolina

Favorite Cities:

  • Las Vegas, NV
  • Denver, CO
  • New Orleans, LA

Favorite Places To Eat:

  • Akira Sushi in New Orleans, LA
  • Waffle House in Biloxi, Mississippi
  • Bojangles in Charlotte, North Carolina

Favorite Party Stop:

  • New Orleans, LA

Favorite Comedy Club:

  • Comedy Works in Denver, CO

Cheapest Gas:

  • Tennessee (1.76/gallon)

Scariest Drives:

  • Leaving New Mexico and heading into the mountains of Colorado after sunset with a lightning storm looming in the distance
  • Crossing the West Virginia-Virginia border at 1:30am JUST to get my selfie

Creepiest Drive:

  • Back roads of Alabama (I swear you could feel the racism swaying from the branches.)

Coolest Sights:

  • Edward Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama
  • The White House
  • The Linq Wheel in Las Vegas
  • The back roads of Tennessee and Arkansas (beautiful trees)

Most Asked Questions About My Trip:

  • What’s up with the Fanta?
  • Where’s the dinosaur?
  • Where are you??

Longest Drive:

  • Louisiana to Mississippi to Florida to Alabama to Georgia to Tennessee (~11 hours).
Maryland.

Maryland.

“If your man can’t really see another woman’s beauty, how the hell is he gonna see yours?”
-Jada Pinkett Smith
Jada Pinkett Smith

I love the state of Maryland. It’s harbor. Downtown. Great proximity to Washington, D.C. The people.

I spent the night here and that was it. From reading my other blogs, you could see that I was on a mission to get to my brother’s birthday celebration in Philadelphia before sunset. And that’s what I did.

Trust me, over the years, I’ve had a lot of fun in Maryland. She’s a great place to party, chill and lounge. Next time.

I won’t leave you empty-handed though. I want to share some eye opening moments that I’ve realized on this trip. I hope they can help others to open their eyes as well.

Steve's List of Eye Openers
1. America is big as fuck! Huge. Vast. Amazing. Beautiful. Don’t believe what you see on TV. Experience the country for yourself. It’s not as small as you think.

2. Fear is CREATED. By YOU! It’s usually manifested in your mind because you think something is going to happen that will hurt you. Don’t create something that is not there. Let things happen and then deal with those things.

3. Driving in the open road is freeing. It opens your mind. You have a lot of time to think. Freedom is the best gift we have besides life. Make time for an open road drive. Even if it’s for an hour or two. Just do it.

4. Massages should be a natural part of life, like taking out the trash. Once a week. If you leave your trash unattended for too long, there are consequences. The same with your body. It needs to be treated well and on a regular basis. Go release the toxins from your body and totally relax for an hour. You deserve it. Your body deserves it.

5. Southern hospitality is real. People look you in the eyes and say hello to you. They care. It’s a culture. You feel it. It’s great. It’s love. Spread this thing the best way you know how.

6. I’m a recluse. I like being alone. I love people and I hate people all at the same time. Ain’t that a trip?

7. Stay in the moment. With today’s technology, it’s so easy to MISS moments because you want to snap a photo, share a video or upload something for notoriety. The moment is much more important than that. Live it.

8. Treat yourself to a vacation or getaway at least once a year. In corporate america, I always hear of people who have not gone on vacation for years upon years. Either because they are workaholics or don’t want to lose their jobs. Why are you working then? Always reward yourself.

9. Don’t get into a relationship with someone if you don’t want to be in a relationship. Our human instinct is one of the most powerful things we have. Use it. Don’t fall into complacency and accept misery. Life is too short.

10. Eat healthy for a week. You don’t have to be a health nut but one week a year, just eat fruits, veggies and drink water and see how your body reacts to that. One week.
West Virginia – Late Night Creepiness with a side of Bugs and Courage.

West Virginia – Late Night Creepiness with a side of Bugs and Courage.

“Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you’ve got something to share.”
-Steve Harvey
Steve Harvey

Steve Harvey was born in Welch, West Virginia. He is the epitome of the long, tough road to success. He’s been through it all as a comedian, an African-American male, host, businessman, producer … you name it. So, I guess it’s appropriate that for my West Virginia fanta selfie, my story turned out to be one of determination and courage.

West Virginia - Virginia border
West Virginia – Virginia border

After having a little too much fun in North Carolina, I found myself behind schedule trying to get to Philadelphia (an 8 hour drive with stops in D.C., Maryland and Delaware) by Sunday morning.

My boy Sam and I partied it up in downtown Durham and had a helluva time dancing to some old school hip hop. The DJ was great. Big thanks to that dude.

But now, imagine driving the next day on the I-95 North, which I’m sure Steve Harvey has done many times, at 1 o’clock in the morning and you NEED to get a selfie with some sort of West Virginia signage.

You plan on spending the night in Maryland due to it being so late but before that, you REALLY want to get this West Virginia selfie out of the way because it’s 1 hour off the I-95 freeway path.

So what do you do? You drive to the West Virginia-Virginia border, which is in the doldrums of darkness, farmland, bugs, lakes and plenty of unknowns and BRAVELY snap the photo below!

Creepiest selfie taken this trip. Snapped at 1:30am at the West Virginia-Virginia border.
Creepiest selfie taken this trip. Snapped at 1:30am at the West Virginia-Virginia border.

In my Kevin Hart voice:
Kevin Hart in The Secret Life of PetsI WAS ON A MISSION PEOPLE!

A huge shout out to my car for providing the creepy-like lighting for this photo and the many bugs crowding my headlamps (not shown) that were all trying to escape West Virginia and fly into my car.

And now that I’ve really had some time to take a look at this photo, something stands out to me: “Wild and Wonderful”. It was wild as hell trying to get that photo, driving in the wilderness but it feels wonderful now that I’m okay and can look back and laugh at that crazy decision. I could’ve easily done it early the next morning but that would’ve been too easy.

Mr. Harvey would’ve been proud, don’t you think?

Nah. He would’ve been like…Steve Harvey Meme